It’s What’s for Dinner

So, I haven’t eaten meat in (quick mental math) over 18 years.

Holy fuck–I am officially old as shit and just the thought makes me all dizzy and verklempt–okay, better now.

As I was saying before I developed the vapors, I haven’t eaten meat in a really long time.  Somewhere around four years ago, I began eating seafood, but it’s been the better part of two decades since I’ve dined on anything warm blooded.So

So will someone please take a moment and ‘splain to me the terrible bloodlust that has overcome me of late?

Ever since the first trimester desire to shuffle of this mortal coil has abated, the desire to participate in the coil shuffling of various tasty mammals has reasserted itself with a vengeance.  For most of my life as a vegetarian, I have been largely content.  Lately, though, I’ve been actively craving meat.  And not just any meat, but particularly meaty meat.  Preferably something that I have to eat with my hands and then wipe out of my eyebrows.

This turn of events. . .was not expected.  I assume the little parasite is trying to leach additional proteins or something, but this shit is ridiculous.  What’s even better?  I know that if I actually were to indulge this unnatural (to me) desire, I would be rendered so sick by the adventure that it really doesn’t bear thinking about.